Welcome to Thrive 9-5, a podcast all about how you can kick ass in the office and in life without feeling exhausted or overwhelmed. Each week I'm sharing simple self-care strategies, mindset hacks, and time management tips, so you can get promoted without burning yourself out. My goal is to help you create success without sacrificing your soul or your sanity. I'm your host, Celeste Harrington.
Hey, thrivers How are you? I am feeling good. Remember, I'm not going to say I'm feeling tired anymore because it only creates more tiredness. But I actually have a good reason to be tired this week. I ran a 26k over the weekend, so I'm feeling pretty fatigued. I will probably take a nap later. I'm having a hard time getting motivated this week after that race, but I am feeling motivated to share this message with you this week on the podcast. It's all about creating opportunities.
I remember when I was feeling burnt out in my career, I thought that there weren't any opportunities for me. That was the main contributor to my burnout, thinking that there wasn't any room for growth and that I had reached a ceiling, and I was just spinning around in circles and feeling unmotivated at that time. So what changed? I decided to think that there were opportunities for me.
I think I spoke about this previously in another episode about creating opportunities in every interaction and how there are opportunities for you in any interaction. And I know that that sounds kind of weird if you're thinking that you have all these repeating weekly meetings or repeating quarterly meetings with the same group of people, but creating opportunity doesn't need to be this dramatic thing where you're constantly getting a new job or any promotion. It could be really simple. You could learn a new task, or you learn a skill or meet a new person, or you learn something about someone that you previously had not known. These are also opportunities that you can put in your pocket that continue to allow you to expand not only professionally but also personally. It helps you make a really deep connection with the people that you're working with and that matters.
I was talking to a friend of mine who had interactions with Arianna Huffington of Thrive Global. And she was saying that one of Arianna Huffington's big skills is knowing something personal about the people who she is meeting with because that is what makes a connection and that is what creates opportunities. Right? You're creating this like, know, and trust with the people who you're interacting with so that they can lean on you whenever they need assistance or have another project. And that's what creates opportunities. But even those actions are stemmed from the thoughts that there are opportunities for me in this interaction, there are opportunities for me everywhere I look. Those are the sorts of thoughts that you can think of as you're going into meetings. Because whenever you're thinking that there aren't any opportunities for you, if you're not looking for them, you're not open to receiving them. And this might sound kind of like a weird energetics thing, but it is. If you were in a meeting and you're thinking there's nothing here for me, you're shut-off, you're closed off, you're probably not engaged, you might not even be listening, you're probably annoyed, and people can sense that people can feel it, even on a Zoom or WebEx, they can see your body language and even hear your tone of voice if you're not on camera. It's really evident. Versus the opposite when you're thinking there are opportunities for me here and you're open, you're engaged, you're intrigued, people can see that you're wanting to interact with them, that's the difference.
There is a bridge, though, between those two thoughts, right, thinking that there are no opportunities for growth, to thinking that there are opportunities for you. You have to bridge the gap by slowly changing your belief, and how you do that is by starting to look for evidence, starting to think about what went well for you during your day instead of focusing on what's not working or what didn't go well. Because the list of what went well is actually quite long, you're just not paying any attention to it. And so that's how you start to kind of shift your mindset and how you can create these opportunities for yourself at work. It's not really magic, but it starts to feel that way. Because you are taking control of how you want to experience and to be experienced, right? People want to experience you as a colleague and a friend who's dependable and loyal. That is what's creating value for your company and your team. And you're creating that for yourself.
So if you look at this, from like a big picture, when you think that you're creating opportunities, you also are thinking that you are valuable, which I think is most of the work that I'm doing with my clients is helping them understand that they are a valuable contributor, that they are worthy. And there is some work in detaching their worth from their work, right? Your work doesn't create your worth, you do. And whenever you think you're worthy, whenever you think you're valuable, you are actually a bigger and better and more impactful contributor, which of course only enhances your worth and your value. It's kind of this beautiful, cyclical thing. But you can't do that when you're continuously thinking that there aren't any opportunities.
And if you truly believe that right now, especially if you're someone who hasn't been promoted or given any sort of opportunity in a long time, you're probably feeling pretty undervalued and whenever you're thinking you're undervalued, you're going to continue to show up as an undervalued person. And this is probably in a lot of areas of your life, not just the workspace. So this work really starts with you and thinking that you are valuable. And that's when you go back to "Hey, what worked today," this is the value that you created. "My value created all these things that worked." And you can start with really simple, less than what worked, "I responded to this email, I attended this meeting, I took care of myself, and went to lunch." You can start really, really small and that list will compound over time, especially if you look at it over the course of a week rather than just one day and you build on it, you seeing that you've created so many amazing things in the week is extremely valuable and what you're doing, just building yourself up, so whenever you are interacting with other people, when you are going into meetings, you know that you're valuable. Look at all the things that you just created. Look at all the meetings you attended. Look at all the emails you sent. Look at all the progress you made in a certain project. Soon you start to take advantage of your own wins that will only compound in the interactions with people that you're meeting and talking with. Right? That makes you a contributor, and you are thinking and believing that you are one. You're not thinking that there isn't any opportunity for growth for you anymore. That shuts the door to any opportunity to come knocking.
The other side of this is thinking that you have earned or deserve a particular opportunity. And this one always boggles my mind. And I think I've personally felt this as well, if I didn't, I wouldn't be coaching or teaching on this topic. But whenever we think we earn or deserve something, there's this sense of ...I don't... I can't put the name on the word, but there's the sense of like, it's really deserving, right? You have like a chip on your shoulder. When you think about it, like in the diet space, or the exercise space where you're working out so you've earned the treats, or you deserve the treats, the treat's never really that fucking good. And to be honest, you feel really guilty about it after the fact. And so whenever you think you earn or deserve something, You should think about checking yourself on that thought because the interaction again is not as pleasant as like, "No, I created something. I am genuinely this valuable. No one owes me anything. If anything, I owe myself love and appreciation and kindness because I'm a worthy human being." Like that is the self-internal validation that we continuously need to feed ourselves so we're not looking externally thinking that we earn or deserve something. No one owes us a cookie. If I want the cookie, I'm just going to eat it myself because it's going to be amazing, and I'm going to enjoy it. It's the same thing in the workplace. You can bust your ass, but it comes back to validating yourself internally. You deserve, you've earned your own validation. If you're constantly seeking and looking outside of yourself for someone else to reward you, you're going to be looking for a really long time because we cannot control people around us to reward us. It's kind of like walking around with an empty cup. Imagine yourself walking around the hallways of your workplace with your hands out like, "Can you please give me another" like begging and really wanting someone to just pat you on the back.
And what's funny about that is whenever someone does compliment you or reward you for your work, your thoughts about that reward are what create the feeling of love and worthiness or whatever the feeling is for you. Right? You're thinking, "Oh, they really appreciate me." That's what you're thinking, or "Yes, I am so amazing." Like, those are the thoughts that make you feel good. When you're thinking I deserve this, they better give it to me, it doesn't feel very good. And so that's why maybe the review process or whenever you're asking for other opportunities, it doesn't feel very good because you think you deserve it. So if you're thinking this way, thinking you're earning or deserving something, really reframe it and turn it back to yourself, like literally put a mirror in front of you and ask yourself why you think you earn and deserve something and look at that language, is there a lot of blame, or is there the fixed mindset here, not a growth mindset, where you're looking for opportunities, where you're thinking, you're hitting a ceiling or stuck inside of a box. Because if you are, the opportunity isn't going to come. Because again, earning and deserving is kind of a closed-off space or thinking someone needs to reward you when you're honestly probably not rewarding yourself.
You really need to start looking at your wins every single day, your victories and celebrating them and telling yourself that you earned this, you deserve this from a place that you're going to reward yourself, no one else. And you don't have to reward yourself with cookies and ice cream, right, you can just literally relish in the feeling of that amazingness that you created on your own. And then whenever you get rewarded from somebody else because you're radiant and relishing in all the joy and love that you've created for your own sake, that's going to be contagious, people are going to see that and you're going to want to create that feeling for yourself over and over and over again because you don't need someone else to do it for you. But once someone does give it to you, just know that it's your thoughts, creating that experience for you. No one else is creating it for you by giving you something.
One, you created it by doing the actions, by doing the mindset work, by creating opportunities for yourself. You created it in the end, even if someone is giving it to you, you created that. I think that's so important to know because then we take full responsibility for how we're acting in the workplace and our world and the world around us, when you take full responsibility, there is no earn and deserve because no one else is going to fill that for you, you're going to fulfill it for yourself.
To kind of bring this back full circle, whenever you are self-fulfilling in creating opportunities for yourself in any and every interaction that you're on, whenever you know that you are a worthy human being no matter what work you did do or didn't do, the opportunities come because you know that you're worth it, you know that you have created all this amazing value, you know that you're valuable and you know that any interaction is worth your time and attention. Then it is just really a no-brainer. And opportunities are going to come knocking on every single area and corner of your life. And so I want you to think about this and how are you in this receiving mode? Or are you shut off to not receiving any opportunities because the thing is, is the opportunities are there. You just have to look. Alright, my friends, I'm gonna keep this one short, because I want you to go out and think about how you are open to receiving the opportunities that are around you. Talk to you next time.
Thanks for joining this week on Thrive 9-5. If this episode hit home for you, because I know it did, join Thrive Weekly, a newsletter for people just like you who are looking to do success differently. The link to subscribe is in the show notes below. You can also follow along on Instagram @Celeste__Harrington and as always, subscribe to the Thrive 9-5 podcast so you can stay up to date as new episodes drop each week. I'll talk to you next time.