I’m not saying expectations are a bad thing. It’s great to have goals and standards. But, don’t let your expectations get in the way. When you think about the perfect life, the perfect body, the perfect partner, the perfect home <<insert your perfectionist fantasy here>>, you’re robbing yourself of feeling fabulous right now. You think you’ll feel satisfied when you’ve met your unrealistic expectations.
So, how do you measure up to your expectations? Compare your current reality to your fantasy. The gap between the two is why you’re not satisfied. And the mind-blowing part is: you created the gap. The perfect you only exists in your mind.
The great news is, you can minimize this gap and even eliminate it altogether. Here’s how in four simple steps:
Write down all of your expectations for yourself, (the expectations you have for others is another conversation!)
Ask yourself: “How do I think I’ll feel when I meet these expectations?”
Write down that feeling
Now, review what you wrote. Notice that you think you will feel better when your circumstances change. Hint: Your circumstances do not determine how you feel, your thoughts do.
The feeling you wrote down is available to you right now, at this very moment. It’s your perfectionistic fantasy that is keeping you from feeling it. This may sound crazy but it’s true. Your thoughts create your feelings, y’all. So instead of spending time being miserable for not meeting your expectations, how about creating new thoughts to produce the feelings you are seeking.
This is how you train your brain to stop chasing perfection. When you chase perfection, you are denying the ability to love yourself in the present moment. I can guarantee a new job, a fancy car, more money, or a smaller body will not make you feel better. Only your thoughts can do that for you.